I Think it is All Coming Back to Me Now

Do you ever meet a moment that you did not like? How about those days where every second is dragging and each breath becomes more akin to nails on a chalkboard, than refreshing, sustaining life? What about those times in life when everything seems ok but you are literally wanting to pull your skin off because something is just not right? What about in your relationship with Christ? Have you ever faced those times when life was supposed to be magically remade when you said Yes to Jesus, but fast-forward a few years and the supernatural is now humdrum?

I am going to admit that I am so there. When I “got saved”, I was alive as I had never been. Every day was a rush to start learning about Christ. I sat through bible studies and read piles of books, asked tons of questions and everyday fell deeper in love with my Savior. I am learning that the funny thing about Humans is that we are ever so forgetful. When was the last time you were speaking of Jesus and the reality of who He is and what He has done, overcame all thought and emotion bringing you to tears?

I forget.

The ability we have to push the beauty of Christ out of our daily lives is tragic, and consistent. Even those who study the word regularly can take out the cosmic beauty and insert a rather dry and crusty routine. How sad this is. However, this is our nature. I see a human pattern of forgetfulness, as we try to live in any other moment than the one we are in. We look so far into the future that we miss out of moments, days, months and even years of “right now”. Ever pressing into what is next, we miss the challenge of today, and with it the hardship and joy that right now brings. We are simply watching the second hand drive out reality so we can move on to a better time. We can also do the same by living in the past, the best years of our lives were come and gone, so we aim to make right now look just like the good old days.

I bet that the repetition of the book of Judges in the Bible is there for a reason. As one who notices rhythms and patterns, all I can see in that book is the vicious cycle that the Israelites maintained magnificently. How did they continue to forget? Then I remember my own life. How is it possible for me to forget? The redundancy of my own forgetfulness is humbling. I catch myself often trying to “get by”, without my Saviors lead.

I think that just as with the cycle of seasons in nature, we too have seasons that we go through in life. Sometimes we have moments of forgetfulness, but this makes the remembering all the sweeter. Sometimes we are ahead of our time, visions of what is to come permeating into today, and this is wonderful also as we get to imagine the undoing of all the sadness and brokenness that will be. We are allowed to remember. Remember who we were, and how we got here. This is redemption renewed. A sweet refreshing flood of memories reminding you of the person you are becoming.

I realize that as my human nature is to forget, God’s cosmic nature is to remind. He is a jealous lover, gazing on me as my mind is elsewhere; He will woo me as only He can. Gently and lovingly, he once again recaptures my attention and draws me into his fixed eyes that never wander. This moment is precious and restorative. This moment brings life and nourishes. I will never tire of this.