immortal.

i am an overwhelming person.
i think i was born this way.
i still don't know why.

people see a big me.
i only see a small me.
understanding fails.

i overwhelm myself daily.
because i can only see a small me.
the vision i have still needs adjusting.

i pray for balance.
because the only way i see is the mirror you put up.
you are afraid, and you don't.

so.
i.
can't.
see.

i am so selfish.


i pray for comprehension.
for the words you use sometimes cut.
healing in pain?

but.
it.
still.
hurts.

focus. clarity. resolve. GOD.

when the human factor fails.
HE.
the big GOD.
the real ONE.
TRUTH.

if i understand you or not,
if i try to love you more,
if i continue to fail as i have.


one final thought:

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. . . . There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors"
C. S. Lewis
Weight of Glory, p. 15