seeing is believing

today i am seeing the world from a different view.

perched in the window sill of the fifth floor surgical unit at st francis watching the city sparkle and listening to the constant shallow breath of my 17 year old sister.
she is finally sleeping.
her fever is steady.
not going up.
not going down.

yesterday at this time she was getting out of surgery. her appendix burst on wednesday and they only figured it out yesterday. the doctor said that she had so much infection at the site of the incision that he was worried more about post-op than the actual procedure.

today i see the world in a different light.
every single breath she is taking is an enormous gift.

hannah is probably one of the strongest people i know. her wisdom is astounding. her resolve is astonishing, her faith is simple, the most unselfish person i have ever encountered and one who will fight tooth and nail for what she believes in.

today i see the world from a different side.
i wish i knew her better.

i wish i could say resolutely that i know what her favorite color is, or what her favorite breakfast dish is, or who her best friend is, or how she sees the world. but i can't. this gift sitting in front of me is being taken advantage of.

today is see the world from another vantage point.
i might have her for the rest of my life.
i might not.
the truth is no one can say. so a resolve is met. she is my gift for this moment. i will be intentional in making the most of this opportunity.

hannah, i'm sorry it took this for me to see.
i love you more than you may know.
"love you forever, like you for always, as long as i'm living, my baby sister you'll be."