Fading away...

Elijah was a man who had a deep friendship with God. The evidence of this is breathtaking. 1 Kings 19:1-18 outlines a story not of might or firepower, brawn or fierce judgment, but one of loving compassion. God had just declared himself to the people that He is truly God, with the demonstration in 1 Kings 18:36-38 and the fireworks that ensued are nothing in comparison to a measly fourth of July party we might have now. God proved himself in a powerful way, yet in chapter 19 we find Elijah at the lowest point in his life.

The Lord then feeds him a heavenly food, one that nourishes not only his belly, but also his soul. His heavy heart is lifted and he continues on. God directs him to a cave and then brings tremendous acts of weather power to him. But God is not there. He has left Elijah in a cave, alone so it seems, to let the brute force of the storms have their way with him. But suddenly the winds cease. All is quiet, and a whisper is heard. The heart of Elijah is comforted, he hears God, covers his head, and moves closer. God speaks. He consoles him, He reveals that he is not alone, that there is a remnant of others who believe, there is even one who will take his place. All is not lost.

What I often forget when studying scripture is that the “superheroes” of the Bible, are actually God empowered humans. The story of Elijah is a masterpiece of humanity. Elijah was at the bottom of a deep pit emotionally, he felt alone and misplaced, so far from God. “Self-doubt, depression, even suicidal thoughts are possible after mountaintop experiences” -Arnold & Beyer, Encountering the Old Testament. As someone who has dealt with depression, I have deep sympathy for Elijah. When faced with the stormy clouds of depression, it feels so alone, so useless to continue on and so vividly dark. It truly is a cave-like experience.

When God speaks to Elijah softly, it is all he needs. God understands the darkness of his soul; all it takes to move him is a tender touch. A whisper is tender, intimate, and usually reserved for lovers. God began whispering to me and I have never been the same. I was in the darkest of all dark places, and yet he tenderly whispered showing me that I have never been alone. This type of intimacy is unraveling me and I am slowly fading into the Glory that is intended for me.